Cowboy Hazel

I headed up to The Armory tonight for another round of Thursday Night at the Races. I raced the mile and the two mile, putting up mediocre times in both. But, in a way, it didn't really bother me. Maybe it's because I knew it was coming. Or maybe it's because I'm finally making peace with the fact that I'll never be as fast as I want to be.

The mile was first. They sorted us out by times again and I didn't even get to run until the 8th (out of 12) heats. I'm still blown away by the quality of the competition that's up there. It's so impressive. Tonight, the winner finished in a ridiculous 4:13 and the first several heats were all significantly under the five minute mark. By the time I lined up, it was old men and twelve year olds. Seriously, there was this twelve year old kid lined up next to me. Talk about an ego check.

Anyway, I started too fast, finishing the first lap in 37 seconds (8th of a mile track). I wasted a lot of energy fighting for position in the pack too. So, by the time I hit the quarter mile mark, I was already out of steam. I fought out the rest, but finished much slower than I started. The official time was 5:21.6, which beat my old P.R. by less than a second. I was somewhat happy that I got the new P.R., but I felt like I could have done better if I had run smarter in the first couple laps. Getting the pacing down on this mile distance is so much more difficult than it looks.

I almost didn't run the two miler. My legs were spent and I knew that I wouldn't put up a good time. I actually put my sweats on and left the Armory, but when I got to the subway, I realized that I was being ridiculous. Are you seriously going to sit out a race just because you're afraid of getting a bad time? Go back in there and run it to have fun. This is supposed to be fun. If you don't get a good time, who cares?

I listened to my inner voice and found myself lined up for the start of my second race of the night. There were just two heats and I was in the second (slow) one. I started pretty slowly myself, hitting the half mile mark at over 3 minutes. But then, just as everyone else was starting to settle into their middle pace, I realized that I had more juice and kicked it up a notch. I started passing people (smartly this time: staying on their heels on the curves and waiting for the straightaways to pass) and continually picking up pace. I wasn't pushing myself as hard as I could have (should have?) but it felt really good just being out there relaxed, focused on my form, and working on technique. I ended up finishing in 11:45 (5:52 pace), significantly slower than I ran a month ago, but better than what I was anticipating.

Overall, I actually enjoyed tonight. I almost didn't go up there because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle the disappointment that was sure to come. I've had a really rough week running-wise. My foot got all swollen after the Bronx and I had to take an extra rest day. Then, yesterday, we did 6.5 miles early in the morning, but it was real slow. Even with such a light week, I still just wasn't feeling anywhere close to 100% today and knew that that would negatively impact my times. But, I'm glad that I was able to just run for the fun of it.

It's not going to be easy, but that's something that I'm really going to focus on moving forward. I started running because it was fun and I enjoyed it. I need to make sure that it stays that way. I've been so pissed off and depressed about the Bronx all week and that's just not what I need to be getting from running. Running is supposed to be my escape from stress, not another cause of it.